Roll in the hay
by TheSkullKid
Summary: RarityxBigMac. Human AU. Applejack finds out what Big mac and Rarity have been doing behind her back. She gets pissed. The plot thickens. T for suggestive statements and some salty language, might change.*Obligatory bad at summaries comment* R&R!
1. Chapter 1 The Morning After

**Author's note: This is my first REAL fanific (I don't like to talk about my earlier attempts). It should be noted that I am a perfectly heterosexual high school guy who enjoys _Resident Evil 4 _and the first two Predator movies. I also love MLP: FiM. I'll be trying to post pretty regularly. Props to Hasbro for creating this awesome show, and they/Lauren Faust deserve recognition for coming up with these brilliant characters (AKA: PLZ DON'T SUE ME). This is a RarityxBig mac fic (Rarimac? Macity?), but I am a fan of basically all (hetero) anyonexBig Mac ship. Enjoy!**

Something was rotten in the house of Apple. Every family member could feel it.

"It's 7:15," Applejack announced, breaking the silence, "and Big Mac ain't down here."

Every morning, without fail, Big Mac was down in the kitchen by 6 AM, preparing himself a bowl of oatmeal and preparing for a days work on the farm. Yesterday hadn't been anything special. No parties, no Mac had worked all day before going into down to get some supplies, last Applejack saw him, he was fixing some machinery in the barn. Applebloom piped up.

"He ain't in his bed. Maybe he's still in th' barn?"

"He might be. Ah'll go check 'n see if he's in there. You just eat your breakfast and get ready for school, OK?"

"Fine."

It was cooler in the barn, and the air was still. A couple moths took flight as Applejack opened the door. She listened for her brother. Sure enough, she could hear his deep breathing from the loft. She smiled a bit to herself as she climbed the ladder up to the loft. _Poor feller jus' got too tuckered out and crashed here,_ she thought.

"Rise and shine, Big ma-" Applejack stopped midsentence. Big Mac was up here, sure enough. But he wasn't alone. His arms were wrapped around Miss Rarity's midsection. The two were lying on a pile of hay, covered with nothing but an old, moth-eaten quilt. Two piles of rumpled clothes on the floor ensured that what happened the night before was no mystery.

Applejack slowly backed away, hoping to leave the couple alone. Fate (and the fact that otherwise, this would be a pretty boring fic) ensured that one of her feet hit the one creaky board in the entire loft.

Rarity began to stir.

"Big Mac? Are you awake yet?" she mumbled, giving him a soft nudge in the ribs.

"Well, ah am no- oh, shit." For the second time that morning, a member of the apple family was stopped midsentence.

"What?" Rarity wondered what would cause the usually impeccably polite farm boy to use such language. She turned around…

"Oh _shit."_

Applejack's brain decided the best way to defuse this incredibly awkward situation was to get angry.

"BIG! MACINTOSH! What in tarnation' is this? Have you been foolin' around with Miss Rarity here?"

A soft and shamed "Eeeyup." was the response. Big Mac climbed out of the makeshift bed (thank Celestia he was wearing boxers) and began to put on his work clothes. His expression was miserable.

"Ah can't believe it! Mah OWN BROTHER WOUL-"

Rarity interrupted her rant "Big Macintosh is a grown man. He has the right to do what he wants. You aren't his mother!" She began pulling on her blouse and she glared indignantly at Applejack.

"It's fahn, Rarity. I s'pose ah did oversleep a bit. Now, if you two'll 'scuse me, af gotta get sum chow."

Giving Rarity an affectionate peck on the check and smiling at his sister, Big Mac climbed down the ladder and ambled off to the Apple house. With just the two girls left, the temperature dropped by a couple of degrees.

"Ah don't like the idea of you layin' a single manicured hand on my brother. He ain't no fancy pants prince."

"I don't want him to be. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must be getting back to my boutique," the fashion designer said as she fluffed her hair back up. As she passed Applejack, the feisty female farmer hissed at her:

"Keep your hands offa mah brother."

"You 'brother' is a man. And he can pick whomever he chooses."

Before long, Applejack was left alone/

"This must be what Twilight felt with Shining Armor," she said miserably to no one in particular.

Soon, the air in the barn was still again.

**Author's note: Wow. It's amazing what one can get done in a boring Geometry class. Read and review, criticism is welcomed! CHAPTER 2 COMING VERY SOON.**


	2. Chapter 2 All in the Family

**A/N: Wow. Two favorites, two review, and a story alert. Not bad for a 600 word first chapter. Chapter two is here now. Read and review! Criticism welcome!**

The back door to the boutique had a old path near it. It was overgrown with weeds, and it didn't seem to have seen much uses over the years. Upon closer inspection, however, it became clear that the path had been used recently. Quite a bit, in fact. Why? Simple: the path went from the boutique and ended just outside of a certain barn in Sweet Apple Acres. It was down that Rarity was rushing, hoping to open up her shop in time. She was still flustered and embarrassed over her encounter with Applejack. They knew each other mostly from the group, but they weren't particularly close or anything. The other four of the group would be finding out soon. Twilight would agree with Applejack that brothers are off-limits. Rainbow Dash had always believed Rarity was a slut, and this would confirm her suspicions. Fluttershy wouldn't take a side. Which side Pinkie Pie took could, for all intents and purposes, depend on what she had for breakfast that morning.

Rarity's mind was running through all the possible scenarios as she unlocked the back door. Flicking on the lights, she looked around for her cat, Opal. The snow white Persian was lounging on top of a dresser, using imported silks as a bed. Her only reaction to her master's arrival was a slight lift of her head before going back to sleep. Rarity deposited her crumpled and stained clothes into the washing machine before throwing on an old pink bathrobe and shuffling into the kitchen. Her morning then began to return to a familiar routine: feed the cat, brew some coffee, grab the paper. The boutique opened a promptly 8:30, an hour later than usual.

Worth it, she though with a small smile.

Twilight's house/Ponyville City Library

"Let's see... 956.2... 956.3... aha! 956.4!"

Twilight pulled out a huge book, staggering under its in gold letters on its dusty was the title: The History of Olde Equestria. Spike was in Canterlot on business, and Twilight was looking forward to closing down the library and spending an entire day curled up with a good book and a mug of hot chocolate. As she was sitting down, however, a bell sounded. Someone was at the door. Twilight sighed as she stood and prepared to give her visitor a polite version of GTFO.

"I'm sorry, but the library is closed toda-oh, hi, Applejack!"

Twilight's friend was standing on the library's doorstep, looking nothing short of miserable.

"Hey, Twi. Can ah talk t' you fer a bit?"

"Sure, no problem, come in."

As she shut the door behind her, Twilight realized just how bad her friend looked. The farmer girl was on the verge of tears, something that she had never seen before. Twilight was worried.

"Go ahead and have a seat," Twilight said, indicating a pair of reading chairs, "You want any hot chocolate?"

"S-sure."

By the time Twilight returned with two steaming mugs, she was really concerned about her friend.

"So what's the problem?"

That straw broke the camel's back. Applejack burst into tears, a rare sight indeed.

"I-i-it's B-big Mac! Ah caught him'n'Rarity in bed this mornin!"

The librarian was shocked. Rarity? The fashionista who couldn't tell an apple tree from a rose bush?

"Our Rarity? The seamstress"

"Do you know any other Rarity?"

"Well, did you catch them... well... in the act?"

"No, like ah said, it was this mornin'. But ah KNOW they did it. What's worse, ah think they've been doin' it for weeks! Big Mac's been askin' for more time off, an-an' spendin' more in th' barn... an...an..."

Applejack's sadness became anger.

"They were doin' it BEHIND MAH BACK! APPARENTLY, AH WASN'T IMPORTANT ENUFF FER THEM TA TELL ME!"

Twilight was about to respond logically when she paused. What if, say, Pinkie Pie had been sleeping with Shining Armor and hadn't told her? Her blood began to boil.

"You are absolutely right. I'm going to go over to Rarity's right now and give that little slut a PIECE OF MY MIND!"

Applejack stood up, her eyes burning with rage.

"And ah'm goin' with ya!"

The two friends marched out the door and didn't stop until they found themselves at the doorstep of the Carousel Boutique.

"RARITY!" Twilight yelled, pounding at the door, "GET YOUR ASS IN HERE!"

The slim seamstress poked her head out from behind a door.

"T-the shop is closed!"

"DON'T GIVE ME THAT CRAP! OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT! NOW!"

Rarity had no choice but to shuffle forward and unlock the door. Both Applejack and Twilight forced their way in.

"Uh-I suppose that you heard about Big ma-"

"OF COURSE I HEARD ABOUT BIG MAC! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, RARITY? HE IS YOUR FRIEND'S BROTHER!"

Rarity snapped back, "And he also happens to be a fully grown man who can make his own choices."

"How did you meet him, anyway? Ah don't remember you two seein' each other a lot."

**FLASHBACK**

One month ago

Where does this trail go?

Rarity had discovered this trail behind her shop while chasing after Opal. The cat was now back in the house, but Rarity was on the trail. She had been following for about fifteen minutes when the trail finally ended. It was right outside of a barn.

Is this Sweet Apple Acres?

Rarity could hear someone grunting inside the barn. She snuck up to the barn door and peeked inside. A tall, muscular man way putting up bales of hay with his back to the door. He turned around, and Rarity couldn't help but gasp: standing before her was one of the most handsome men she had ever seen. With just a straw hat, work gloves, faded jeans, and a sweat-soaked A-shirt (also known as a wife beater) on, he was the opposite of high fashion. But there was something... just attractive about him. His half closed eyes radiated a sense of calm, and a stalk of wheat dangling from his lips gave him an almost rustic charm. He paused for a bit, and Rrity thought she had been discovered. Instead, he simply peeled off the soaking shirt and threw it into the back of a nearby cart before moving to a well in the back of the barn. At the sight of his shirtless body, Rarity lost all self-control and silently followed him.

The cold well water felt a like a godsend as it poured down his throat. Big Mac set down his cup and sighed happily. He heard an odd rustling noise behind him. Setting down his cup and replacing his trademark stalk of wheat, he turned around and saw a beautiful lady walking towards him. He'd seen her once or twice before. What was her name? Rural? Raral? Rarity? That was it. Rarity.

"Hello, Miss Rarity. What're you doin' here?"

"Oh, uh, er, I was just, um, going to see, uh, Applejack. Yeah, Applejack."

Big Mac raised a single eyebrow.

"That's funny. She just went into town lookin' for ya. Is.. something wrong, ma'am?"

Rarity's patience wore out.

"Oh, just shut up and kiss me."

Clamping her hands on the side of his tanned face, she pulled him in for a kiss. His eyes shot open like window blinds, the straw dropped out of his mouth, and his heart skipped a beat. After recovering from the initial shock, he began to kiss back with a passion he usually reserved for allegations of cheating in his weekly poker game. After a while, Rarity broke the kiss. Big Mac leaned back onto the well, a small smile giving an expression of drowsy contentment. Rarity coughed nervously, tucking an errant strand of purple hair behind her ear.

"That was rather, um, forward of me."

"Eeeyup."

"So... uh... would you like to visit me at the boutique later this evening? Sweetie Belle is going to be at a sleepover..."

"Eeeyup."

"Great! let me show you the path..."

**Present Day**

Twilight cut into Rarity's memory.

"That's not important. What IS important is that you DIDN'T TELL APPLEJACK!"

"She would never have approved. Never."

"Y'all think that maybe there's a REASON for that?"

The shouting was so loud none of the three heard the small tinkle of the door's bell.

"What's going on here?

Fluttershy's voice cut through the chaos like a hot chainsaw through butter zombies. Three pairs of eyes focused on the veterinarian, holding a torn sweater in one hand and a horrified expression.

"Well... um.. er..."

"WHAT'S GOIN' ON IS THAT THIS WHORE'S BEEN SLEEPIN WITH MAH BROTHER!"

Fluttershy's gaze settled on Rarity.

"You... and... Big Mac?"

Her response was an almost imperceptible nod. Completely contrary to anyone's expectations, Fluttershy broke into a huge smile and threw her arms around Rarity's neck.

"Oh, you two are so cute together! I always knew he had an eye for you."

Twilight recovered the fastest.

"Uh... Flutter? You do realize that she didn't ask Applejack if it was OK, right?"

"Oh, of course. Applejack wouldn't even allow Celestia to date Big Mac. It had to be done in secret. And now, we're all on the same page!"

Applejack realized the truth in that statement.

"Well... if he's into you as well... ah 'spose ah'm alright with it..."

"Really? Thank you."

"Jus'... don't keep secrets from me like that no more, 'kay?"

"Okay."

The four feel to chatting and gossiping, until once again their discussion was interrupted by someone entering the boutique.

"Am ah interruptin' somethin?

Big Mac's frame took up most of the doorway, but two small girls managed to squeeze through his legs and explode into the room. The blur that was Sweetie Belle came to stop in front of her older sister and began bouncing up and down.

"Can Applebloom stay the night? Big Mac said she could. Can she? Please? Pleeeeeeease?"

Rarity couldn't help but laugh as she bent down and gave her sister a hug.

"That's fine with me, sweetie. Just stay out of my workroom, okay?"

"Sure!"

Two blurs exited to the room and bolted upstairs. All the adults were left laughing.

"Well, Spike will be getting back soon."

"Ah 'spose someone needs to take a' Granny Smith."

"All the animals need to be feed."

The three of them walked out. Applejack hung back a bit and and approached her brother.

"Stay safe, y' hear?" she said with a meaningful glance and a handshake before saying goodbye to Rarity and taking leave.

"So... Sweetie Belle and Applebloom can't hear us down here. And... my work room is off-limits..." she said with a seductive smile. "Follow me."

More than glad to obey, Big Mac smiled a bit as he began to unwrap the condom his sister had slipped him.

**A/N: There! HA! IT'S LONGER! Read and review!**


	3. Chapter 3 Big City time, Big City crime

**A/N: It may be the third time I've used this word in my Author's Notes, but _wow_. When I check my gmail, I always have at least one email from telling me someone added my story as a favorite, added it to their alert list, etc. This is a glorious feeling. In this chapter, the emphasis changes from "romance" to "drama". Let me know how you like this new twist! R&R!**

Two weeks later

Big Mac was feeling on top of the world. The harvest looked like it was going to be a bumper crop, he and his family were healthy, and he finally had a wonderful woman in his life. He felt like nothing could stop him.

Celestia apparently thought his life was getting boring.

It had all started so innocently. Six friends had decided to spend a night out on the town. All of Equestria was experiencing a renaissance, and they wanted to be a part of it. Party after party, club after club, the six began to get all partied out. They ended up in a greasy spoon, wolfing down mysterious pink burgers at two in the morning.

Rainbow Dash managed to choke out a sentence through a mouthful of meat and bread.

"Oh. My. God. Crap has never tasted so good."

"Didn't you mother tell you ta never chew at the table?" Applejack said with mock seriousness, setting off several bouts of laughter. If they hadn't been so drunk, they might have noticed the lone man sitting in the corner with a hungry gleam in his eye.

"I don't think I've been this drunk before," Rarity slurred. At that statement, the man in the corner quietly slipped outside. No one noticed him.

"We should be getting back home. I think Spike's going to pick me up." Twilight.

"Mr. Cake said he'd send a cab." Pinkie.

"I'm going with Twi." Rainbow Dash.

"Same here." Fluttershy.

"Mah pickup's somewhere around here." Applejack.

"Big Mac said he'd -hic- gimme a ride." Rarity...

"Mah brother should be here soon. What time is it anyway?" Applejack pulled out her phone to check the clock.

"Two in the mornin'. Damn. I won't be able to get anything done tomorrow. Too hungover." Applejack giggled.

"Ah 'spose ah should get goin'. Don't want Big Mac to have to do all mah work tomorrow. He needs the energy, from what ah hear upstairs," She winked at Rarity, who blushed.

"I suppose we could be a bit more... discrete."

Once again, the six burst into laughter. The store owner sighed.

"I'm afraid I have to close up shop now. You ladies can run along." His voice was edged with solid granite.

"Oh look, Spike's here!" Pinkie Pie pointed out the window, where a red convertible was pulling up to the building. Spike was in the driver's seat, his hair still standing at attention.

"Alright, girls. Let's go." Twilight stood up and yawned. The other three that were traveling with her did the same.

"Mr. Cake's cab is here, too!"

"Ah think ah still know where mah car is..."

The six friends filed out the door. None of them saw the silhouette of a man ducking into a nearby alley. Twilight hesitated as she got in the car.

"Rarity? Are you going to be alright all by yourself?"

Rarity seemed almost offended at the question.

"Of course I can. Don't worry darling, I know how to handle myself. Besides, Big Mac just texted me saying he was on his way. See you tomorrow!"

"Yeah... see you tomorrow!"

Rarity giggled a bit as she stepped back from the curb and Spike hit the gas. Pinkie Pie waved as her cab rolled by, and Rarity could hear Applejack's old four-door wheezing as it started. She leaned against the wall of the diner, closing her eyes and drifting into a semi-conscious state..

Unfortunately for her, the night was just beginning.

She didn't see the shadow creeping out of the alley. She didn't hear his breath getting louder and louder as he came closer. She did notice the rough hand clamping over her mouth. That got her attention. Her eyes shot open, but before she could scream, she became aware of something poking into her lower chest. Someone growled into her ear, "You scream, you blood fills the gutter. You understand?" She had no choice but to nod.

Big Mac pulled up in his pickup. _Huh,_ he thought. _Rarity said she'd be out here. Eh. She must be in the bathroom or somethin'._

The man slowly guided her into the alleyway, where no one could see them. No one could hear them. Rarity was screwed, and she was about to get screwed.

"You got fancy clothes there, miss." His breath smelled of cheap whiskey and stale tobacco. "I don't think you'll need them, though." He laughed. It sounded oddly rusty, like he hadn't done it in a while. Rarity's face was down to the ground, but she could hear him unbuckling his pants.

Big Mac was really starting to get concerned he hat been waiting far too long for it to be a simply bathroom break. He dismounted, checking his phone to see if she had texted him. Nope. He began to search the area around the diner. He could hear someone speaking faintly in a nearby alleyway.

_Can't be her... can it?_

Marcus couldn't believe his luck. It was almost as if Celestia herself had delivered this drunken beauty right into his hands. He had prepared himself. Now it was her turn. He reached for the knife in his back pocket, planning to cut the straps of her dress before making her squeal...

Rarity waited for him to start...

Big Mac turned into the alleyway...

A large hand prevented Marcus's knife from completing its journey. Adrenaline began coursing through his veins. Whoever's hand was wrapped around his must be giant. He turned his head, and his suspicions were confirmed. A massive profile blotted out the moon. The giant's words were quiet, making them all the more threatening.

"Boy, you are in a heap of trouble."

The giant began squeezing, and Marcus's hand involuntarily dropped the knife. A pair of strong hands gripped the side of his head, and rammed it into a brick wall. Marcus wasn't dead.

He just wished he was.

_Is that Big Mac's voice? Dear Celestia, let it be him. Let it be him..._

A pair of strong arms wrapped around Rarity's and pulled her up. She looked wight into Big Mac's green eyes and lost it right then and there. A large farmer hold a slim, bawling fashion designer in his arms while her would-be rapist lay unconscious next to them. An odd scene, to say the least.

After about 5 minutes, Rarity began to calm down. She pulled away from Big Mac's strong chest and looked down at her attacker.

"Is... he..."

Big Mac bent down and pressed two fingers against the man's neck. Sure enough, a steady pulse beat beneath.

"Nnnope. Jus' out cold."

He straightened up and looked into her eyes. They were still full of fear.

"Let's head down to th' police station and report this. Ah'll throw him the back of the truck."

Showing little regard for the other man's welfare, Big Mac through him over his shoulder like a sack of flour. Soon, the criminal was bouncing around the back of a pickup truck. Before long, his mind pushed through the fog.

_The hell am I doing in the back of pickup truck?_

His head throbbing and his hand beginning to swell, he took a quick peek into the cab. The driver he didn't recognize, but his passenger sure as hell looked familiar. He had been caught, and they most likely weren't taking him out for ice cream. He realized something very important: his captors had forgotten to bind his hands. He could easily escape. Once the truck stopped at a red light, he slipped out the back. The darkness and the fact that neither Big Mac nor Rarity were expecting his escape, he easily slipped away. Once out of the truck's sight, he breathed a sigh of relief that soon turned into a gasp of pain. He need a doctor, right now. He limped his way to the hospital, already thinking of excuse stories.

The battered pickup pulled into the parking lot of the Canterlot Police Station. Big Mac got out of the cab first, grabbing a wheat stalk from a secret stash he kept under the driver's seat and chomping down on it. He checked the bed of the truck. Sure enough, their friends wasn't back there.

Jus' like ah suspected.

He knew that unconsciousness didn't last forever, and it would be likely the scumbag would recover mid-journey. One red light would be all he needed. Rarity gasped as she made the discovery.

"He... he's gone."

"Eeeyup. Musta gotten out on tha way here. Good thing ah took some pitchers a' him."

Rarity snorted.

"Yeah. Good thing."

The only sign of life in the station was a pair of boots up on the front desk. Attached to the boots was an older sergeant, with graying hair and a bored expression. His head was buried in the latest issue of Batman, and he didn't notice his visitors until Big Mac cleared his throat.

Peeking over the top of his comic book, the first thought the desk sergeant had was _Wow, that guy is big._ His second was _What an odd couple_. A farm boy in jeans and a flannel with heavy looking boots and a city girl wearing a (now grimy) party dress with high heels.. Taking his boots off the desk and straightening up in the chair, he began to recite a speech he had used maybe once in the past month.

"Welcome to the Canterlot Police Station. Are you here to report a crime?"

"Eeeyup."

This surprised the sergeant. Crime was nearly non-existent in Equestria; he mostly dealt with tourists who thought they had been pick pocketed, only to discover their wallet in their XXL fanny packs. After booting up his computer and opening up the relevant form, the desk sergeant continued with his routine.

"What crime do you wish to report?"

This time, the girl answered.

"Attempted rape."

Any trace of boredom left his system immediately. Attempted rape? Christ, this was serious.

"N-name of victim?"

"Rarity L'fey."

"Can I see an ID?"

Rarity passed over her driver's license. The sergeant held it under a scanner, and all the relevant information filled itself out in the form.

"Location of crime?"

"Alleyway outside Barney's diner."

"Time of crime?"

"About a half an hour ago."

Glancing at the clock and subtracting 30 minutes, the sergeant soon had the entire report filled.

"Do you remember anything that identified the perpetrator?"

Perpetrator, Big Mac thought, This piece of slime tries to violate an innocent girl, and they call him a perpetrator?

"Ah have pitchers." Big Mac opened up the relevant file on his phone and handed it over. Soon, both pictures would be beamed to all nearby law enforcement officers.

"Thank you. Your report has been filed. Do either of you have an address that you can be reached at?"

"Sweet Apple Acres, Ponyville."

"167 Main Street, Ponyville."

"Alright. You'll probably receive a court subpoena in a couple days, when we catch this bastard."

He stood up and smiled a bit.

"I got your number off of this phone. I'll send you texts when I can, keep you posted."

"Ah 'preciate it, Mr...?"

"Sergeant Gold. Pleased to meet you."

The sergeant stood up and offered his hand. Big Mac took it, surprised at the firmness of the older man's grip.

"Ah'm Big Mac. Thank you, again."

"A pleasure."

The sergeant sat back down and began filing papers and typing furiously. Big Mac and Rarity exited, leaving the matter in the law's capable hands. Sergeant Gold turned on the radio mic.

"All units, this is Home Base. We have a report of attempted rape. Yes, I'm serious, attempted rape. They got pictures of they guy that did it, too. The file will be sent to you shortly. Concentrate on the route between Barney's Diner and Home Base. Home Base out."

Sergeant Gold went up to grab himself another cup of coffee. This was going to be a long night...

One and half hours later

Marcus stumbled along the ally, using the brick wall on his right to keep from tripping. He had gone to the hospital, and they had bandaged up his head, covering up one of his eyes in the process. They had been about to fix his hand when the cops came in looking for a rapist, and he knew he had to get out of there. This proved to be a bad decision. He stumbled on a unseen rock and faceplanted. When he managed to crack open an eye again, he found himself staring at a pair of steel-toed boots. Boot met face at high velocity. That was just a warm up. For the next ten minutes, Marcus's body was slammed around in more ways than he ever wanted to imagine. Finally, he lay on his back, struggling to breath. Four ribs cracked. every bone in his hand broken, his skull fractured, and his mouth and nose bleeding. Looking up, Marcus saw the silhouette of man raising his boot above Marcus's head, framed by the most beautiful sunrise he had ever seen.

Two days later

"Wow. An attempted rape, then the rapist gets killed." John Rickers leaned back and sighed. He had never seen crimes of this level in his ten years as District Attorney of Canterlot (and thus de facto Attorney General for all of Equestria), let alone in one night.

"We got any suspects?" Jimmy Corbitt was the Assistant DA.

"Uh... one. Name of Macintosh Apple. Reported that the victim had tried to rape his girlfriend a couple hours before his death."

"A revenge killing?"

Boy, for all his competence, Jimmy can be stupid, Rickers thought.

"Yes. Hayseed's girlfriend get attacked, he gets pissed, kills the guy in revenge."

"We got any evidence?"

"Yes. Autopsy guys report the cause of death was boot meeting head. Security shows he was wearing the same boots as the killer."

"That's enough evidence?"

"We got a motive. Got a piece of forensic evidence. If you can make sure he has no alibi, we can nail him."

"Alright."

"Take some guys with you. Get his boots, send 'em to the lab. See if they've been washed."

"Alright."

"What are you waiting here for?"

Noon

Sweet Apple Acres

It was a lazy day at the farm. Granny was asleep in her rocking chair, Apple Bloom was watching TV, Applejack was reading the paper, and Big Mac was worried. Mostly about Rarity. He had gotten a text from Sergeant Gold, telling him that the attempted rapist had been killed a little while after he had escaped from Mac. He decided to check on his girlfriend.

"Hey Applejack!"

"What?"

"Ah'm goin' t' go check on Rarity!"

"Okay!"

Grabbing his keys on the way out, Big Mac noticed two police pull into the driveway. He paused on the porch, and saw two men get out of the first car. One was wearing a sharp business suit, the other had on a police uniform. The two ambled up to the porch.

"Howdy, gentlemen."

"Hello, sir. I'm Jim Corbitt, the assistant DA up at Canterlot. Are you Mr. Macintosh Apple?"

"Eeeyup. You can call me Big Mac, though."

The two shook hands, and Big Mac noticed that the lawyer's hands were soft and manicured. He had never done a day's hard labor.

"I'm here to ask you a couple questions about the incident with Miss L'fey yesterday morning," he said while pulling out a small notepad and pencil.

"Alright."

The police officer, still silent and grim faced, climbed up onto the porch and began to look around.

"What did you do after reporting the incident to our sergeant?"

"Well, ah took Miss Rarity home. Stayed their a while, made sure she was okay. Then ah came back here."

"Do you know exactly when you came back?"

" 'Bout four in th' mornin'."

"Can anyone confirm that?"

Big Mac was a bit confused.

"What?"

"Can anyone confirm that you were home at that time?"

"Ah don't think so. Everybody was asleep."

The Assistant DA flipped his notebook shut and sighed.

"Mr. Apple, I'm going to have to ask you to put your hands behind your head."

Big Mac was really confused now, but he did as he was told. A pair of steel handcuffs locked around his wrists, and the officer shoved him against one of the porch's support column before beginning to pat him down.

"Wha-"

"Macintosh Apple, you are under arrest for the murder of Marcus Murdoc. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in court."

Corbitt gave a signal, and several officers came swarming out of the second car. They entered the house, the first one running right into Applebloom.

"What're you doin' to mah brother?" she said, shocked. One of the officers scooped her up without an answer.

"If you cannot afford an attorney, the court will appoint one for you-"

"Lil' Bloom? Whats all this commotion?" Applejack turned the corner, seeing a sight she thought impossible: police officers swarming around the kitchen and the entryway. One of them was holding Applebloom in his arms; she was bawling her little eyes out.

"What's wrong?"

"Th-they're takng away Big Mac!"

"WHAT?"

One of the officers stopped and faced Applejack.

"Ma'am, your brother has been accused of murder."

_**MURDER?**_

Applejack pushed through the officers to the porch, getting there just in time to see her brother in the back of a police car.

**A/N: Shit just got real. Once again, read and review!**


	4. Chapter 4 Pretrial motions

**A/N: Blargh. This was not fun. I had to keep forcing myself to work on this, and the quality suffers. You can probably skip to the next chapter (once it's up) without missing much; this is basically filler. All you need to know is that**

**A: Twilight Sparkle is defending Big Mac**

**B: They are going to base their defense around testimony from citizens of Ponvyville (AKA: CAMEOS AHOY!)**

**C: Next chapter will be much, much, longer.**

**Read/review/favorite/criticize/squee.**

The next day, media outlets were ablaze with the news.

_**FARMBOY ACCUSED OF MURDER!**_

-Canterlot Gazette

_**COUNTRY MAN KILLS RAPIST IN BRUTAL REVENGE!**_

-Fillydelphia Times

_**RESEARCH SHOWS LEADING CAUSE OF INSOMMNIA LACK OF SLEEP!**_

-Equestrian Enquirer

"Hello there, and welcome to Baltimare News at 9. Top story tonight: murder! For the first time in a half century, someone has been murdered in Equstria!"

"Filllydelpiha news at 8! Murder in Canterlot!"

And so on. Media portrayals of Big Mac fell into one of two camps: either a righteously angry country boy who forgot his own strength or a hick who killed a man for whistling at his girlfriend, one media personality went so far as to claim that Big Mac's tiny brain overloaded when he came into the city and he killed someone while his brain was trying to repair itself. None of them even considered the possibility that he might be innocent.

Neither did the men interrogating him.

"Look, we know you did it. We have video of you doing it."

"Bullshit."

"Now, now, hayseed, your old granny wouldn't approve of that kinds of language.

"You don't know mah granny."

Corbitt sighed. This guy was stubborn as a mule. Irritating, too: he remained infuriatingly calm throughout the whole thing, his cuffed hands on the table, his expression unreadable, his responses short and to the point.

And where the hell did he get that wheat stalk?

The assistant DA plucked the offending grain out the prisoners, mumbling something about a "lockpick risk". Corbitt knew this was bullshit. Both parties were aware that, if he really wanted too, Big Mac could snap the (relatively) weak chain linking the two cuffs. The police's insurance policy was an armed guard in the corner.

"Mr. Apple, I'm giving you one more chance to confess. Are you going to take it?"

"Nnnope."

Corbitt sighed. "You give me no choice," he said as he pulled off his jacket and rolled back his sleeves. Big Mac loosened his jaw and prepared to turn with the punch-

"What do you think you're doing?"

Big Mac saw the most unlikeliest of saviors: a slim Asian woman wearing a business suit and a shocked expression. Twilight Sparkle: Was there anything that she wasn't well learned in?

Corbitt reacted quite well, given the circumstances.

"I was simply cooling off."

Twilight shot a glance at the fully functioning air conditioner in the corner before turning back to the Assistant DA.

"I'd a couple minutes alone with my client to prepare his defense."

Unrolling his sleeves and replacing his jacket, Corbitt nodded. He and the guard left the room. Twilight plunked her briefcase on the table and opened it up, pulling out papers.

"Hello, Big Mac."

"Howdy, Miss Twilight."

"The first thing I need to know is simple: Did you do it? I'll defend you either way, I would just like to know right now so I can tailor your defense to fit."

His answer was soft, but with a tinge of anger behind it.

"You think ah killed someone?"

That sure flustered Twilight. Her cheeks burned a furious red as she realized what she had been insinuating.

"N-no, that's what I meant at all..."

Big Mac just leaned back, putting his hands in his lap. His face was still blank.

"Well, anyway, I've talked to the DA, and we can't touch them in terms of physical evidence. They can prove that you were wearing the same kind of boot the killer did. We'll be trying for a character defense."

"A what?"

"We'll call in witnesses to show that you aren't a killer."

"Sounds good t' me. Who can we call in t' testify?"

"Pick anyone in Ponyville. Anyone."

"Will that convince 'em?"

"Of course it will."

"Didn't convince you."

Twilight decided to make a peace offering.

"Look, I'm sorry about what I said. How can I make it up to you?"

"What do you mean, _it came in from the princess_?"

"Well, we got an official letter from Princess Celestia requesting that Prisoner #127 get a one-hour long unsupervised visit with Miss Rarity L'Fey. And that ain't a request I'd deny."

Rickman covered his eyes and groaned.

"He's got someone pulling strings for him. I know it."

"Of course he is, but there's nothing we can do about it."

"Alright. Give him his goddamned visit."

Big Mac was lying on the cot in his cell, shading his eyes and thinking. His cell door slid open, interrupting those thoughts.

"Prisoner #127? You have been granted one hour of unsupervised visitation."

He sat up and blinked.

"Wait, what?"

"You. Have. Been. Granted. One. Hour."

"Ah can hear ya. What does that mean?"

"You and your little girlfriend can screw each other as much as you can for one hour."

"That's a bit blunt."

"Yeah, well, it's true. Get up and put your hands against the wall."

Normally, Big Mac resented the search, but the thought of him being able to spend some time with Rarity made it bearable. After a short walk, he was standing front of a closed door, smiling slightly as he listened to his girlfriend argue the guards.

"NO! I WILL NOT BE SEARCHED!"

"Ma'am, it's a security procedure: as far as we know, you are smuggling a gun in there."

"Well, I'm NOT!"

"We don't know that."

"I suppose I'll suffer the indignity just this once. But keep those hands away from the merchandise."

After about 30 seconds, a green light next to the door light up, and a guard on the other side opened it. Big Mac could tell he was standing outside of a trailer, waiting for the guard in question to open the door and let him in. The guard cracked a grin.

"You've got one hour. Stick it up her ass at least twice."

He laughed at his own pathetic joke before unlocking Big Mac's cuffs and letting him into the trailer. It was a smallish room with a bed, a small table with a lamp, and Rarity, sitting on the bed, checking her reflection in a hand mirror. Upon his entering, she replaced the mirror in her handbag, got up, and kissed him. They stayed like that for a good minute before she finally broke it.

"Hi."

"Howdy."

"So... how have you been?"

"Been better. But ah've been worse."

_If he's really been through worse than this, he's the strongest man I know._

"What about yerself?"

"Quite well, actually. Some of my designs have been getting more publicity."

She didn't have to say why.

"Good t' hear. Shall we get started?"

She grinned seductively.

"I'd love to."

After their hour was up, both Big Mac and Rarity were given a full pat down. The guard from outside the trailer spoke up again.

"Hey, miss! I can show you a better time than any farm boy could!"

She scoffed.

"Oh, please. There's a reason his nickname is "Big" Macintosh/"

As he was led back to his cell, Big Mac had a slight smile on his face.

**A/N: I sincerely apologize for the wait, length, and quality of this chapter. I sort of lost steam after chapter 3, and this chapter didn't flow the way I wanted it to. I will make it up to you with a MASSIVE and EPICALLY LONG trial chapter. Think 5,000+ words. Read and review, as always!**


End file.
